It all started back in 1966. Daddy was cruising for chicks (in his Army uniform) around Baby's Hospital, he found himself a naive baby-doll (Mama) and before you knew it (April 5, 1968), I was born to 2 unsuspecting but lucky parents.

I was an only child. Things were great.

Yea! I am 1 year old.

Ain't I precious?

Who could want anything else....?

Momma - why are you so fat?

I can hear the thunder in the distance......

Then my sister was born.....

Where did SHE come from.
The sublime and wonderful existence I had known was extinguished by an attention stealing succubus.

Everything fell to pieces.

Ah...but I had a plan.

I would use the one tool at my disposal to rid myself of this plague.

But alas, mommy came to the rescue.

My attempt at fratricide was not a success, therefore I am forced to vie for the attention of my parents and the attention of others.

Thank goodness I was cute. At least I had that going for me then.

But in spite of my adorableness, my sister has garnered an unfair amount of my parents affection. So throughout my childhood, adolescence, young adult and adulthood, I have honed an uncanny talent for making myself the center of attention. It is a constant internal struggle to keep myself from turning every conversation back to me. It permeates my very being. I don't blame myself - I was just born that way. For without attention, like a plant needing water - my soul would shrivel, wilt and die.

Now that "naked devil baby" has reached adulthood - and then some - I have discoverd that this latent talent can be a constructive driving force.

But just when I thought I was gaining ground - my sister gives birth to twin girls.

I'll never win.